People I Am Happy With Today

Hey everyone, I had an awesome day – here is a shout out to my top people of the day


The Girl At Pret A Manger

For being so happy when serving me and not minding at all when I hit on her (she never gave me her number though!)

The Driver Of The SouthWest Train

For sounding so happy when he made the announcement of where we were going – I think he might have been drunk

Theresa May

For deciding to keep our multi billion pound subs – hey we saved a few million by leaving the EU but then throw several billion pounds into a completely pointless set of subs

Boris Johnson

For being our new hilarious foreign secretary – how the rest of the world will laugh!

The People Of Nice

For booing their PM for being useless at keeping them safe

My Mortgage Broker

For giving me 100% free mortgage advice – new house here I come


This time proving that even the members of his own party don’t want to vote forĀ Donald